just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
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