You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
