party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
