Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
