These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
