You're completely useless in the revolution.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
