my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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