so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I need water and some morals
Randomize
