11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
