He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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