My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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