Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
