i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
