please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
