Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She's the barista slut.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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