No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize