I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
