Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
