I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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