Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
