The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
