was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize