yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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