I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Randomize
