so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize