ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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