I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize