im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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