two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Sober January is a disaster.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
