So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
