...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
