We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
