I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
