My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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