i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
