This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
someone get that fucking seahorse.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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