His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
