Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
