you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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