May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
