would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
