I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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