went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
