hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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