Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You made out with two different species that night
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
