capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
