Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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