i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
