I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize