I'm drive I can fine osifer
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
