My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
