so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
