he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Did you just see the Batmobile???
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
