I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize