goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
