why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
