I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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