Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
