she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
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