oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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