is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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