we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
