Say something about gay babies.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
