My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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